Coping with Breast Cancer

“It’s Breast Cancer,” I told my mother over the telephone. The doctor had just called with the results from the pathology report. I was in my office at work.

“Are they sure?” asked my mother. I was silent for a moment, still stunned by the news. “Yes,” I said, “the doctor is quite sure it is breast cancer.”

We spoke for a few moments longer and then I hung up promising that I would stop by later on that afternoon. As I mindlessly shuffled the papers around my desk, it suddenly occurred to me that I should tell my mother not to tell anyone about my diagnosis, at least not until we knew what we were dealing with. I left work immediately for the 30 minute drive to my parents’ house.

When I arrived, a little over hour after I had spoken to her, my mother greeted me at the front door waving a piece of paper.

“Grace Lynn R. just left this for you. She did a search on the Internet. These are the recommended breast cancer programs here in town. She also said that her sister lives near Boston and if you want to go to the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute for an opinion we could stay with her.” There was a small pot of pink begonias on the table in the foyer. “Those are for you, from Dottie G. Oh, and I also spoke to Linda P. Her friend Elaine K. is a cancer survivor and would be glad to talk to you.”

Whether I liked it or not, the news was out. Early on, during the first week of my diagnosis, I told only those who were very close to me or who were key in my life—family, friends, my boss at work—that I had breast cancer. A week later I meet with the breast cancer surgeon. He went over the pathology report and then described a course of action. I left the hospital with additional information about my diagnosis and it was then that I started to feel comfortable sharing the diagnosis with a larger circle of family, friends, and co-workers.

Sharing the news with people was much easier then I had ever expected. People showed compassion, concern, sympathy, and in many cases, empathy. It was amazing to me how many people had faced a similar challenge to their health or were managing a chronic condition. Being open about my diagnosis with friends and co-workers and acquaintances kept a great burden off of me. I was totally free to be a cancer patient and to focus on getting the treatments I needed to get better.

—Anne Humphreys, diagnosed at age 35, 1999

Don’t go it alone; don’t retreat from life even though there will be times when you will feel tempted to. The diagnosis of cancer can make you feel alone and hopeless. That need not be the case.

Finding the strength to deal with the changes brought about by breast cancer can be easier for patients and those who love them when they have appropriate support services.

Many patients find it helpful to talk with others who are facing problems like theirs. Cancer patients often get together in self-help and support groups, where they can share what they have learned about cancer and its treatment and about coping with the disease. Often a social worker or nurse meets with the group.

Several organizations offer special programs for breast cancer patients. Trained volunteers, who have had breast cancer themselves, may talk with or visit patients, provide information, and lend emotional support before and after treatment. They often share their experiences with breast cancer treatment, rehabilitation, and breast reconstruction.

Friends and relatives, especially those who have had cancer themselves, can also be very supportive. It is important to keep in mind, however, that each patient is different. Treatment and ways of dealing with cancer that work for one person may not be right for another, even if they both have the same kind of cancer. It is always a good idea to discuss the advice of friends and family members with the doctor.

Your doctor’s staff or a social worker at the hospital or clinic can suggest local and national groups that can help with emotional support, rehabilitation, financial aid, transportation, or home care. Information about finding support groups and other programs and services for breast cancer patients and their families is also available in this section, the Resources section of Fighting Spirit and through the Cancer Information Service [http://cis.nci.nih.gov/].